Homeschoolers are weird. Private school kids are entitled. Public School kids don’t learn anything except substance abuse: these are the stereotypes of the different ways of schooling your children. So what way is the right way? How do you know? And most importantly, WHEN should you make the decision?

To be honest, I have no idea, and anyone who says that they know exactly how YOU should raise YOUR kids, and what YOUR lifestyle needs to look like, should check themselves. I think they’re being a little prideful. On the other hand, I think it’s important to not put the cart before the horse. If you already know what you want to do for your kids for the rest of their lives (at any age), don’t be so sure. What works for one kid at one time, isn’t going to necessarily work for another, or forever. 

So, let me take you down our schooling journey. My kiddos started daycare at 8 weeks old. You read that correctly. 8 WEEKS. When my oldest was born, my husband was in the military. There was no way we could afford to live without both of us working. And, being a prideful 24 year old, I was determined to do it on our own, as much as possible. Shout out to our families (both blood and military) who set us up for success at this crazy time of our life, you know who you are. But anyway, I remember going into the interview for the job I took after my daughter was born, still on pain medication from the c-section: that’s how quickly I started working. I couldn’t drive, and my husband had to drive me to the interview, but I was desperate to do what needed to be done for my family. He thought I was crazy, but I insisted, and he wasn’t going to stop me. Not to mention, I had just moved to the area and didn’t have any friends. I thought it would be great to get out of the house, meet people, and make money for my family to boot. I think there was definitely a bit of pity from the hiring manager that helped me get the job, and I started working as an admin. assistant on a military base shortly after interviewing.  

We found a daycare on base for my daughter to attended from 8 weeks to approximately 4 years old. It was phenomenal. The security was unmatched, and the teachers loved my kids like their own. I will never forget Linda. She asked me if she could speak Spanish to my daughter, and I said “yes please!” I can still hear my sweet girl’s little voice in my head saying “Asta Yana Linda!” It was her 2-year-old best attempt at “¡Hasta mañana, Linda!” I loved and trusted them with the most precious beings to ever exist. It felt like my heart and soul were in their care, and thank God, they did not disappoint. 

My kids had a home-away-from-home there. I really should write them to say thank you. Then, my husband separated from the military and things got a little crazy.

2010-2013: Daycare

2013-2014: At home with Dad

2014-2014: New Daycare (this one was not great, but affordable)

2014-2015: At “home” with Mom (we were moving around a lot at this time)

2015-2016: A great new daycare

2016-2020: Public School

COVID

2020-2021: Homeschool (while both parents were working full time) 

2021-2022: Back to public school

SPRING 2022: MIDDLE SCHOOL – Here it gets even more interesting…

Middle School is hard on kids and parents alike for many reasons, and there was a whirlwind of chaos around my daughter. It was affecting her schoolwork, her self image, and even her personality. She was changing into someone who I know wasn’t really her. In an effort to keep her privacy, I won’t go in to details, but it came to a head in the late winter of 2022. At 12 years old, she attempted to run away from home. I was at a loss for words. My husband and I didn’t know what to do. We knew coming down hard on her could be good for her in the long run, but we were afraid it would push her away further. We were also scared that we would be essentially “taking away” her only friends. We wanted her to have friends, and do dumb things that teens are supposed to do, but we didn’t want her hurting herself and getting labeled and boxed into a reality that we could tell wasn’t REALLY her. She was being pushed into some dangerous things from the people around her. So, we made a decision, “If the government can decide to kick our kids out of public school over spring break for ‘their own good,’ so could we!” So, over spring break we dis-enrolled our kids from public school and (again, thank God) found a small private school we could afford and put them into. 

We had them in private school for the end of 2022, and the following 2022-2023 school year. Then, in the end, it was not a good fit. Was it better than public school? YES! Had my daughter done some major growth and healing from what I believe was borderline narcissistic abuse from “friends” at public school? Yes! But she hadn’t made new friends. The majority of her new classmates were from the slavic community, and I think that she and my son learned a lot from this, but the language and cultural barrier made it really hard to make friends.

My husband and I, again, were put in the hot seat. Our decision: if we didn’t have to pay tuition (and sold off some non-essentials), we could now afford for me to homeschool the kids. 

Luckily, we found a public school co-op (essentially). I know it sounds strange, but I believe it’s the wave of the future. The parents work with the public school to find curriculum and come up with a balance of public and homeschool that works best for their family. It could be 80% Home, and 20% School, or 50% – 50%. Whatever percentage works best for your kids and your situation. 

That’s where we are now. Will my kids go to public or private High School in the future? I now understand that I can’t say for sure. At middle school, my kiddos had been through 14 years of structured education. Most people who have done that have at least some college, and possibly an Associate’s Degree. 

Now, one of my best friends, on the other hand, has a completely different story. She has always wanted homeschool for her children. And she has been a part-time working stay-at-home mom for her kiddo’s infancy and toddler-age. Then when her oldest turned 4, she started trying to teach her, but was getting nowhere. It was a constant battle! Unintentionally, they had turned learning into a war-zone. So, she began to search for quality pre-school/kindergarten and she found a wonderful school not too far from home. This did wonders for her learning! She was able to sky-rocket with her intellectual ability. And now my friend facing a similar situation with her next kiddo. He is approaching preschool age, and gets bored at home. When he gets bored, he acts out. Unintentionally this turns into strife in their home. If it’s better for her son to go play with kiddos his own age, why not try? There is no reason to keep your kids from something that would help them grow and thrive, just because you think it is better for “the kind of kids you want to have.” See where you are, see where your kids are, and get creative! There is no one-size-fits-all solution. 

Would my friend have told you that she was going to put her kiddos in daycare? No way. She was sure that they were going to be homeschooled, and she was going to do it. But now she realizes that it may not be what is best for her kids, and she has a decision to make. 

Would I have told you that I would have homeschooled-kids when my kiddos were toddlers? No way. I thought homeschoolers were kind of weird. I didn’t want that for my kids. But now, I realize. I have done what is best for my kids. They’re doing well: rebelling but growing: testing the waters, and getting consequences: learning who they want to be. No one knows what the future will hold. Do what is best for your child and family. And don’t stress about making that decision before it’s time. 

The best thing to focus on now and always is helping them know that they are safe and loved at home. Spend quality time with your kids while you can: read to or with them, and keep trying to look for the best situation you can. That’s all you can do.