I’m not the only one who struggles with this one. The balance between modeling healthy habits for your kids and making your kids obsess about their appearance seems like a really thin one. How do we keep from doing this, but also help them to know that they do have self-control, and can discipline themselves?

Over the last few years (while no longer working), I’ve gained weight. I see this as a symptom to a deeper “problem.” It’s not the weight or appearance that is the main issue: rather it’s an indicator of my over-all health. It’s harder to get my self motivated and active when I’m eating empty calories. I feel lethargic when I’m fueling my body with candy and pasta: pizza and sugary drinks. So, recently, I stopped. I reframed my mind – No sugar and only low-carb (no pasta bread and potatoes). I have help from some online support programs that provide health coaching. I’m lucky to have great resources. It hasn’t been easy, and it’s only been 1 month, but I’m hoping it can be a good start to a better lifestyle that includes more veggies and meats and less processed foods. I think anyone would agree that is a fairly “good” decision. However, I’ve noticed my daughter making comments about her body and doing laps to try and burn off calories after eating a cookie. Is this a “bad” thing? I mean we’ve all done it, and if you listen to the “Glucose Goddess” (French Biochemist Jessie Inchauspé), you’d know, burning-off the glucose that is in your bloodstream with lunges or a walk is actually a smart thing to do after indulging. At what point is noticing your body unhealthy? Sometimes our body’s “know” more than we do right?

We have to let our kids have thoughts without policing them. They don’t need to watch everything that comes out of their mouth, and hide their thoughts. “Don’t say that… Don’t think that.” I mean we did, and I’m willing to bet our moms did too. Is it part of normal adolescence to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, especially the new body you’ve never had before? Can we help our kids learn how to be proud of it without making them feel like they need to hide what they think, and that they are somehow wrong or un-feminist for thinking it?

The best thing I can figure to do is talk about my reason for changing my diet and focusing on exercise. Why do I want to lose weight? Why do I want to control my blood sugar? Here are some of my “why’s”:

1. I want to last for a really long time. I want to dance at my kids’ wedding, and hopefully my grand kids’. Obesity can increase the risks and severity of almost every disease studied. Adults with obesity have higher risks for stroke, many types of cancer, premature death, and more. https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/basics/consequences.html
2. I want my mind to stay sharp into my later years. Blood sugar snd insulin spikes are not good for Alzheimer’s Disease. In fact, according to researchers at Australian National University, higher “normal” fasting glucose is associated with brain atrophy in important areas of the brain, the hippocampus and amygdala, which are vital for memory, emotions, and healthy aging. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22946113/
3. I want to be able to experience the time I have on this earth to the fullest. This means increasing the quality of life not only the length of it. I want to dance in my 70’s and 80’s I want to be able to hike in my 60’s, and play baseball with my grandkids in my 50’s, that’s why I need to run in my 40’s.
4. God only gave me one of these bodies. Wouldn’t it be kind of a slap in the face to disrespect it to the point of ruining it?

I think if I reiterate this list when I look at my self in the mirror, and when I think of what to eat, I can hopefully introduce a new perspective, and change the tides. Instead of focusing on the symptom of my waste-line or the number on the scale, hopefully I can focus on health and vibrancy, helping my kids understand the importance of taking care of themselves rather than just looking “good.”